


for the ones we love

by 21tales



Category: Gintama
Genre: F/F, Gen, gintoki comes to the rescue unfortunately, kinda sad kinda sweet kinda heart warming, like way wayyyyy post 704, post 704, pre-wedding fic, sacchan has an actual personality in this, sarutobi ayame deserves the world (tsukuyo)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:21:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22320220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/21tales/pseuds/21tales
Summary: doubt, a wedding, a bar, a silver-haired samurai, and the woman you love.
Relationships: Sakata Gintoki & Sarutobi Ayame, Sarutobi Ayame/Tsukuyo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 24





	for the ones we love

**Author's Note:**

> i don't like the way sacchan n gin interact in canon so i switched it up

Sacchan’s thoughts are cluttered and her actions are incomprehensible. This isn’t anything new—this is the eccentric Sarutobi Ayame after all—but her uneasiness bothers her to no end. She isn’t really sure what it is, but before she realises it, she’s out on the streets in the middle of the night. She’s a ninja, after all. Slipping from under her covers without waking her fiancée wasn’t a big deal, but there is guilt in the purple-haired kunoichi which weighs her down and she’s trying her best to make sense of...whatever this is. 

She carries on mindlessly. The rooftops, the streets, the dog that chased her for a good minute; they all lead her to this place. It takes her a moment to register where she is when she looks up, and smiles to herself. 

Otose’s snack house. 

Faint light is streaming out through the door. She’s mildly surprised that it’s still open at this hour, but then again, it’s a bar in Kabukicho of all places, regardless of the owner and her tenants living upstairs. She could do with a drink. 

She reaches out to the door and slides it open slowly. The familiar scent of alcohol and collective memories greets her and it eases her heart a little. Maybe this is what she needed after all. 

“Sorry, we’re closed—” a voice begins to say from the far end of the counter, and a figure shadowed by the darkness moves ever so slightly, the only person in this empty bar. “Oh,” the voice says again on noticing who it is. 

Sacchan closes the door behind her and retracts her trembling hand, which she quickly hides behind her back. The lone silver-haired occupant and her, they both leave the silence undisturbed as she shuffles towards him and seats herself down on the stool next to the samurai. 

Gintoki basks in the quiet of the room for a moment, before turning over a glass next to his own half-filled one and pours out a drink from the bottle placed on the counter. He slides it over to her and she catches it instinctively. Giving him a faint nod, they both take a sip from their respective glasses. 

“You know,” the permed samurai finally says, “Married women shouldn’t drink with strange men. People talk.” 

“Good thing I’m not married yet. Good thing you’re not a strange man but my _best bud_.” 

“Yeah, a best bud who you drove crazy for _months_.” 

Sacchan shrugs. “Comphet.” 

Gintoki nearly smashes his glass down. “Hiding in my apartment trying to spy on me all the time and not giving me any semblance of personal space is not _‘_ _comphet_ _’_ —!” He bites back on his tongue and drags in a long breath. “You know what? You’re getting married tomorrow. I’m not doing this.” 

“It isn’t my fault the gorilla couldn’t write my, uh, _complications_ for shit.” She sips her drink. Later, she winces. “What even is this? Tastes horrible.” 

“The only alcohol the hag didn’t keep locked,” he replies. 

“Right,” she nods. After a moment’s thought, she asks again, “Wait, what are you doing here all alone at this hour?” Strangely, the question didn’t occur to her earlier. It is Gintoki, after all. 

“Night shift. Granny’s the one who bought your wedding gift on my behalf so I’m paying her back.” 

She narrows her eyes. He couldn’t even bother to buy a gift for them himself. Hardly surprising. “You said the place was closed when I came in.” 

He shrugs and takes another sip. “She didn’t exactly specify _what_ I’m supposed to do during a night shift. I took liberties.” He pours himself another drink. _Damn, is he going through something?_ “Anyway, aren’t you supposed to be sleeping or whatever? It’s the big day.” 

_Ah._ The inevitable question. Sacchan slowly looks away, staring at her drink as she swings her glass slightly, stirring the liquid. Realising that her silence may create some tension, she says as calmly as she can, “Felt like taking a walk.” 

Gintoki doesn’t seem to care about her delayed response, though. “Pretty late for a walk,” he muses. 

She nods. “Well, you know me. I do the strangest things.” 

“So, second-guessing your wedding?” 

She gulps. The way he successfully hit the bullseye with his typical, unaffected voice makes Sacchan feel at a complete loss for words. The thought she’s been avoiding all this time, the thought she tried to escape from through her aimless wandering; the truth was clear. She _is_ second-guessing everything. She _is_ scared. Her throat quickly becomes dry and she’s thinking of excuses, _any_ excuse, because how dare Gin-san of all people see through her like this. 

However, the alcohol in her system begs to differ. 

“Maybe,” she says, and mentally slaps herself. Hearing no response to that, she bends down and plants her forehead on the counter. Letting out a long sigh, she adds, “I don’t know.” 

“Ugh,” he grunts. His strange response immediately gets on her nerves. That’s the last thing she wants to hear. “After all the insufferable couple-y, PDA shit you two did in front of me and my very _young_ protégés—” 

She snaps her head up. “We hardly held hands in front of you—" 

“You have the _gall_ to come up to me and tell me you’re second-guessing your wedding. You’re killing me, Sarutobi-san. You’re killing me.” He shakes his head and makes it sound very polite, but one swift move from Sacchan, and a bulge rises through Gintoki’s silver, permed hair. “Ow!” 

His idiotic response does make her snap out of her numb thoughts, however. _Insufferable lovey-dovey couple, huh?_

“Did you have a fight?” Gintoki says, massaging the top of his head and then groaning under his breath. 

“No, we didn’t.” 

“Do you not love her anymore?” 

“Are you crazy? Of course not!” 

“Then, what’s the problem?” 

“I...don’t know.” She looks away. 

Gintoki studies her for a while and then sighs. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.” He runs his hands down his face and says, “Okay, maybe just think of why you’re marrying her and that should solve your problem.” 

Sacchan just blinks. _What, is he a pre-marriage therapist now?_

“Go on, now. I saw this on _Dr. Fin_ and it helped the couple out.” 

She’s silent for a while, but Gintoki looks at her expectantly. She finally gives in. “Because I love her, obviously,” she says matter-of-factly. 

“And...?” 

She throws him a questioning look, but he gestures for her to carry on. “I want to spend my life with her.” 

“Yeah?” 

“She makes me a better person and I want to be there for her, too.” 

“See? That’s all there is to it—” 

“She’s amazing and I love waking up to her face every morning.” 

“Yeah, cliché but valid—” 

“I love being around her, I love it when she smiles.” 

“Okay, yeah, you get the point now—" 

“And the sex—" 

“Alright, that’s enough now.” 

“—The sex is _amazing.”_ Sacchan is clenching her fists now. “Mind-blowing, in fact.” 

“Okay, stop it.” 

“It’s heaven on Earth. Every second, every moment—" 

“Please.” 

“Every inch of her skin—” 

“I get it!” He slams his glass down. “Please, for the love of God, shut _up_.” He almost sounds broken. 

Sacchan takes another sip. “Right. Sorry.” 

“This didn’t happen in _Dr. Fin_ ,” Gintoki says. “The manga may have ended but I want to keep this PG-13 now. Please. We’re all retired.” 

She nods. “My bad.” 

“Okay, so that should cure your pre-wedding jitters.” 

She nods again. “Yeah.” He’s right. There’s nothing to be worried about. She knew what she was getting into when she popped the question. She had consciously made this decision and she can’t back down, because despite it all, she loves her. That’s all that matters. He’s right. 

He’s right, _but..._

“What if I’m not enough?” 

_Welp. No more alcohol for tonight._

She puts her glass aside and runs her hands through her hair, pulling at the ends. She could make another excuse, but she’s too distraught to think of anything now. 

Gintoki doesn’t say anything for a while. He’s strangely perceptive for the idiot that he is, but she knows that the Yorozuya recognises what a person is in need of at any given moment. He knows what the said person requires (most of the times, at least) and at this moment, he knows she’s sensitive, despite their regular, everyday interactions. 

Perhaps, that is why she came here subconsciously; to seek a friend. 

She’s so undeniably scared. She loves her, yes, but what if she’s not _enough_ . What if she’s not the one who her fiancée deserves? Sacchan is full of faults, she’s full of shortcomings, and she’s still a complete mess. What if she messes everything up? What if she can’t come through when she’s needed the most? What if she fails miserably at the things she’s expected to do? Can someone like her truly be ready for this; for the marriage—for _family_? 

“But she chose you,” Gintoki says simply after a while, cutting off her thoughts. There’s no snarkiness, there’s no sarcasm. It’s just Gin-san, saying what he truly feels. “She wouldn’t have done any of this if you weren’t enough.” 

It takes some time for his words to settle within her. Something so complicated, so terrifying, and he presents her to it so easily without taking away its essence. She loves Tsukuyo, yes, but Tsukuyo loves her, too. That’s really it. 

Sacchan finds herself at a loss of words again. 

She sits there, gathering her thoughts as Gintoki stands up and reaches out for her glass. He walks to the other side of the counter and pours the drinks down the sink. He then comes out, wiping his hands on his yukata. He starts walking towards the door, stopping only for a moment behind Sacchan. 

“You know, sometimes people choose you. You have to let them.” He starts walking again. “After that, you work everything out together.” 

That causes the corners of her lips to turn up into a faint smile. _Spoken from experience,_ she muses as she turns to face his back as he walks away. 

He opens the door wide and stands next to it, gesturing outside. 

“Now get out. We really are closing now.” 

* * *

Sacchan changes back into her pajamas as soon as she gets back home, and tries her best to sneak back into bed as quietly as possible. She hopes in the dark that she didn’t wake her fiancée up. She faces away from her as she lays down when suddenly, she feels a hand from behind her drape over her arm and press against her stomach. 

“Welcome back,” the blonde drawls, barely awake at this hour. 

Sacchan swallows the weight in her throat. _She’s been awake._

Those words make her heart sink, and that, coupled with what Gintoki said at the bar, cause her vision to become _just_ a little blurry with tears. Everything she was holding in throughout her walk back home starts flowing out. 

_So stupid_ , she thinks to herself. _I’m so stupid._

She curls up under her hold, hanging onto the other woman’s arm. “I love you,” Sacchan says, and her voice embarrassingly cracks at the end. 

She can feel the Hyakka’s body scooting closer under the covers as the hand on her stomach presses down gently, causing her thumping heart to finally calm down. She eases into her embrace and lets out a quiet sob. 

“I know, Saru,” Tsukuyo says, pressing her forehead against Sacchan’s shoulder. “I know.” 

**Author's Note:**

> yes tsukuyo calls her wife "monkey" deal with it
> 
> leave a comment or two!


End file.
